Ever since I started my spiritual journey, it’s very clear to me that our thoughts create our reality.  So as much as I can, I try to enjoy my days and stay grateful. Most times, I can easily ignore some mood spoilers and continue to look at the brighter side fully enjoying my days as they go by life.

That’s great progress, but…

There are still some special people who can manage to push my buttons. Might be that look or the words, I know I should be beyond that, but it still bothers me deep inside.

I’m at a stage where I realize that my mood should be nobody else’s business but mine. I don’t want anybody to hold any power over my emotional wellbeing.

I know that no matter what, I should let go. Even if it’s their fault, I should let go because letting go is for my benefit. I should be responsible for my own happiness.

So I try to not think about the event but my mind goes on autopilot reliving the past and worsening the experience each time. At such times, I seem to lose control of my mind. No matter what I do, I end up squarely back where I started – giving more energy to what I don’t like.

If you get caught in a similar turmoil as me, then here are some strategies. At least this is what I do when I find myself in a negative spiral, and these help me breathe freely very quickly again.

1. Take a pause. Stop thinking about the past.

Consider a scenario where somebody parked a car on a sloping road without putting the handbrake on. If it was heavy slope, the car could go downhill.

Now imagine that you saw this car coming down, and instantly, you place big rocks on the way to stop the car. You would have much better luck stopping the car when it has just started coming down versus if it was well on its way going down with high momentum.

The deeper the hurt, the more the tempo of your disapproving thoughts, and the more difficult it is to change your train of thought at that time. Instead of trying to be positive when the negativity is running full speed, try stopping your thoughts instead.

  • One of the best ways to stop your thoughts is to go to sleep. As an added bonus, when you sleep, the unconscious mind takes over, and you are in a better state of mind to receive spiritual guidance.
  • If somehow you can’t sleep, immerse yourself into something that requires high concentration. Personally, baking does the trick for me. As I measure all the ingredients accurately and follow the recipe properly, my mind can focus on nothing else but baking.
  • Another way can be to repeat to yourself  STOP or CANCEL each time you find yourself on a rapid trail. Then take a few deep breaths and carry on.
  • Remind yourself that at this very moment, you can choose to be peaceful.

2.  Direct your thoughts.

One reason why our mind goes on its own negative trail is that it doesn’t have a specific job to do. We usually go about our days doing stuff in autopilot mode.

For example, we drive without really thinking about where to stop or turn, etc. We have driven so many times that we drive without thinking too much about it. This gives our mind spare bandwidth to go a random spree.

So how about directing your thoughts instead?

  • One useful way can be giving your mind a game to play. You could ask yourself what all you’re thankful about today. Practicing gratitude can be an immediate mood uplifter too.
  • Another wonderful technique can be to imagine a scenario you would like instead. E.g. if someone called you fat and you didn’t like that, imagine yourself thinner and fitting into a beautiful dress. The more you visualize a perfect future and totally believe it, the more you will the Universe to get it to you quickly. Channel your thoughts into what you would like instead.
  • If unwanted thoughts still come in the way, simply remind yourself that you’re in control. Say STOP or CANCEL, notice a few breaths and move on again.
  • If your mind still keeps getting carried away, give yourself an assignment that limits uncontained wild thinking. You could listen to some audiobooks, or visit a close friend, etc, anything that considerably reigns in automatic thoughts.

3. Meditate.

If you’re like me, then meditation would be an answer to almost anything. I find that meditation helps me calm my mind and gain clarity.

When you can, take the time to immerse yourself into silence and align yourself back to your highest state. When you are in a deep meditative state, you can feel your whole positive self again. You can also use this state to ask for guidance. Just notice what comes to you when you are in true mental heaven, and most likely, that will be all that you need to know.

4. Relax. It’s all good.

Here’s a statement that I find very comforting at all times.

Everything in your life is happening for your ultimate good, even if you don’t see it yet. 

Don’t believe this? Just replay the worst events in your life and think of what good they did to you.

I wouldn’t know your story, so I’ll share a snippet of mine. By the time I was twenty-two, I was headed for divorce and I had lost my job. In a country where divorce is still a taboo, how could any of this be for my good?

But here’s how…

I was in an abusive marriage, so ending it was wonderfully freeing. And I didn’t really love that job. Losing my job at the time when nothing seemed to be working out, forced me to have a really hard look at what I wanted to do with my life.

I earned myself an MBA degree from IESE that led me to live and work almost all over the world. I would have never been on this path if I had stayed at that previous job.

And yes, I married again too. We have a beautiful son and we live together in Australia.

I firmly believe that my divorce and job loss was for my ultimate good because they pushed me into a place where I had no choice but to stand up for myself. They introduced me to my own power and self-worth, and what an immense blessing that is!

So coming back to you, think about what might your lesson be with the latest challenge? How are you growing here? What good is coming your way?

5. Choose to be happy and kind no matter what.

The last strategy is very simple but still very powerful.

Simply repeat to yourself various times during the day that right now, you choose to be happy and kind.

Can you feel the magic of these words?

By saying that you choose to be happy, you’ve set the intention for good things to come your way by telling the Universe about your strong desire. By adding that you wish to be kind, you’ve called upon your own highest self to assist you.


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It’s your turn now. So tell me:

Which of these tips resonates most with you? Tell me in the comments. I read every single one, and I’d love to know!

With love,