An alternate perspective


That look on his face said it all. The deep yearning eyes, the soft caressing hands, the nervous vulnerable smile…

I could see what was coming.

This gorgeous man, the one who gave me goosebumps every time my phone rang, he was sharing how he was falling in love with me.

My heart was racing in delight, swooning and dancing with excitement. My imagination was already scripting a wondrous daydream of the two of us.

The more he talked about how he was falling in love for me, the bigger my smile became. Brimming with passion, he shared how his heart no longer belonged to him but was mine to cherish forever, to give love and happiness for the rest of our lives.

Wait! What?


He seemed confused. Surely, he was promising nothing wrong. He was devotedly saying that his heart was completely mine now, his happiness and desires were entwined with mine forever.

And that’s very endearing and incredibly romantic. But No. No.

I love you too and I want to be with you, truly, madly, and, deeply. But there’s a difference.

I love you now and I will love you forever. I’ll support you in whatever you want to do. I’ll wish you well and care for you even when we fight. Each day, every day, I’ll try to live an amazingly beautiful life with you.


But, I don’t want to be your ultimate pillar.

I don’t want to live your life for you. I want to be busy living mine.

I want a best friend for life, the sorts where you banter over stuff but you stay who you want to be, where you know that you’ve got each other’s back. I want you to strive for your dreams even if I’m not on board.

And heavenly please, I want you to hold onto the power to your blessedness, because that’s not mine and because I will never be able to handle it for you.

How about we both promise very simply to hold our own space, and be best friends instead? This statement doesn’t have the exuberant flair of a romantic fairytale, but it has the practical basics that might last a lifetime.